Quotables

Mom: "Ali. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but you smell like grass."

Bennett (to the asian doctor lady): "I need a sugar mama...like you. You working all day.... Me and little JP doing tae kwan do in the living room when you come home..."

Charlene: "Oh gurl. I am so wack today. It's this morning sickness."

Me: "Morning sickness. You're pregnant?!"

Charlene: "Wit my first, gurl! I am THIRTY-SIX YEARS OLD. My huuuzzband says this a whoopsies."

EDIT

new one from today.

me: Can you tell me where Dr. Babin's office is?

pink lady at Cabrini staring at me for a second and then grabbing her ear: "What? Honey, my hearing aid just died."